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Today is a new day

On the way to work today on time for the first time in quite a while.

I remember in highschool, every day I would push the envelope to how late I could leave. It eventually turned into a habit where I would be late almost every day.

I have recently fallen back into that path. But am determined to break it. I am going to leave no later than 11:15 for work.

I need to raise the bar. Sleeping is not an act of relaxation, or preperation. But merely something delays me doing what I want to do.

Yesterday I took ballet. I realize more and more how out of shape I am, but realized yesterday that that feeling should be motivating, not something that puts me down.

On a lighter note. I enjoyed a delicious bowl of lucky charms this morning:

Have an amazing day.

<3 Eoin Thomas Sharkey

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Train ride

Well it's another day arriving to work late due to train traffic.

The subway is starting to bother me as much as the bus in issaquah did.... Though at least there if I really needed to be somewhere, I could use my parents car... Here it's either take a subway undergroud, take and even longer ride on a bus just to be above ground or pay 15 dollars every day to take a taxi to work. (ridiculous)

I've started going to the gym again after work. It's so obnoxious thought becaus every time someone at work asks me to hang out I have already committed to working out. Of course it's never the days that I don't have any plans...

I'm definitely sore and out of shape, Which is never fun. I still haven't seen the doctor about my leg which I definitely need to.... But in the scheme of things I need to get more organized before I put anymore appointments on my plate.

I'm excited that it's fall. Though living in a world with public transit doesn't make wearing layers any better. What do you do with a big jacket and workout clothes when you're at work and want to go out? But it's a 30 minute train home? Dumb...

This is just me ventin for no real reason. Haha

Work has been really good lately. It should calm down soon since we're apparently finally hiring a part time employee.

I need to figure out what I'm doing for the holidays this year. I've decided I really want to stay in new York for thanksgiving. Beacuse, hello?!, the parade I'd be watching on tv is in the city I LIVE in! I just need to get a group together for my "new York family dinner" :-P

Next: Christmas. I really want to go out of town for Christmas. We get th 24th and 25th off. I jut don't really want to fly out of new York on Christmas eve, considering my family celebrates Christmas on the eve. (wellth majority of it) but if I were to go somewhere else (like Paris? ;)) I wouldn't want to only spend like 5 days there....

Well who knows what'll happen.
Off to work now. Enjoy the update.

-Eoin Thomas Sharkey <3

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Pills and capsules

Well I definitely haven't written here for a while. Or really written my thoughts much at all.

I'm chilling in the muggy subway uptown right now on my way to work.

I don't know if I've mentioned this on here yet, but I started taking medication for ADHD in may... I don't really know if it's helping or not...

But I noticed something this morning.
I had forgotten to take my 2nd dosage and it was already pretty late in the day, so I decided to skip it. Because it was like 6 pm and you're not really supposed to take it past 4... Plus, I was going to be going to event at 7 where I would be drinking. And I'm not really supposed to be mixing the two.

So this morning I noticed a drastic difference. It was weird.... I was extremely distracted. I felt like I would before I started taking mess when I would have high anxiety. Like I couldn't finish anything. I was doing 5 things at once.
I was cooking bagels, frying eggs, ironing my shirt, on the computer, pickin out my clothes and going to the bathroom. Switching between every thing after like 5 seconds.

I don't really know if it was my lack of taking it last night. Or the fact that I hadn't taken mine in the morning yet when that happened.

Reason this it kind of sounds really dramatic. It's not actually. But it's probably a good idea to write it down right?

I hurt my hamstring in the first couple weeks I moved.. And it still hurts. It's starting to worry me... Because I was getting so flexible and really strong in my dance, and now I feel like I'm taken back like 2 years... I can barely lift my leg to 90 degrees.

I need to get it cheked out, but my insurance is being retarded because my coverage is out of state. I need to just suck it up to find a good doctor, because it's my life and my career. But am not really sure how I to about finding a good doctor.

Ugh this entry took a very negative tone. Dumb.

Generally I've been really happy with myself with all I've taken on since I've moved. I think the impression people are getting of me is what I've been wanting people to see.

I'm moving up in work. But realize that sooner or later I'm going to have to make a plan to make acting a full time career. I know I'm capable of doing the research.

I'm justgonna end this. I'm not formulating my thoughts the best right now.

Have a good day.

-Eoin Thomas Sharkey

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New York life

So in case none of you know already, I am now living in new York. So far I am loving it 110%.
I had a really good night last night though that kind of solidified the fact that I really am living here now.

I actually went on a date with this guy named greg on Wednesday. Which ended up probably being the best date ever. And of course we have a million similarities... :-P

Last night, he met me at work ( I work on bumble and bumble on w13th st) and we decided to walk to times square. So as we walk the 30 blocks to times square we decided to stop into his building (Ernst and young) and we went to the top floor to look our the window onto the Mass of people. It was so eye opening. We were looking down on the new years ball. And above the massive crowd that has always been a vacation to me.

It is my home. And I love it.

We then decided to walk to rockafella, which is even weirder since in my mind I can only think of 30 rock when I see that building.
The combo of that and seeing where the whole world ice skates when they're in love was definitely intense.

We then kept walking uptown this fancy hotel that I forget the name of ( which my dad stayed at a month ago and really is beautiful, let me tell you) but there is a hidden burger spot in the building and it was probably one I the best burgers I have had. We coninues walking towards central park discussing life and all there is to do in new York.

It's scary that I feel so close with him already. We've discussed things I usually don't even tell my best friends...

We kept walking. And walking . We walked through central park. We got to the rearvoir you see people jogging around in every new York movie. It was insane.

We walked from 13th st to 106th. And I never once wanted to stop.

We had a quiet night in on a Saturday and ur was just what I needed.

I feel behind already with my life in new York but now that I am so far ahead already.

I love you all. :)

-Eoin Thomas Sharkey

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God's Debris

So i finally finished a book for once.

i Read god's debris. a book recommended (or forced on me rather).

i've been thinking about it all day.

It talked about being committed to ideas, and following through with goals, relationships, beliefs, everything really.

one of the things was really interesting.
it talked about people who write down their goals 15 times every day.
its not that they are able to do it because they write it down, but that they have the dedication. and know what they want.

i want to do it. but i know, already that i would stop after two days. or something like that.

my GOAL. is to move to la or new york by april.
and yet. i'm still in this mind set where if something better comes along, I'll do that instead.
and that cant be a good way to live.

I want to start committing to april. but i'm afraid that i'll be doing well in my job now.
but i know i'm not really happy in my job now.
so what am i thinking?

Its not that i'm not happy. i just know its keeping me stuck in one place.
and who wants to live like that.

I had a revelation today during my massage that i need to go to new york.

which is weird.
because i WANT to live in la. i think california would be harmony for me.
and yet. i can tell that i would get stuck in another rut if i got there. i know that i would have trouble getting in that industry right now without much experience.

I know that New York has all the training and opportunity to actually be able to survive.
i just need to make that move.

and who knows. maybe by april the market will be so much better that i'll actually be able to afford a real apartment.

or have a puppy to keep me company ;)

I'm pissed off about everything that happened this weekend.
getting ditched, twice. and then seeing everything that happened the next day.

it's always been a problem with me. jealousy. never of other people. just of people doing things that i COULD have done.

it started when i was in paris. and i shouldnt let things that are out of my control bother me. but i do.

I have a lot of things to let go of.

theres more i want to say.... but i think its time for bed eoin.

Don't Deny Me of My Sleep.
I Want to Dream Big.

Sing away

Well... halloween has passed.

its been an interesting week. that's for sure.

I actually had a really good halloween.
which was nice.

It was just the day before and after.... that werent so fun.

Yesterday, i just didnt really feel that good. and i dont even know what happened thursday...

Needless to say i spent my halloween somewhat sober this time.
which was nice. I was the DD for the evening. And just had 2 beer and a few jello shots over the period of the evening. Me and some friends from the salon went out to some parties in shoreline. which was just kind of nice to meet a bunch of new people and such.

Made some new friends. and making closer friends with people from work.

So i was reading horoscopes yesterday.
just thought i'd share mine:

Sunday, November 2, 2008
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
You may be torn between two worlds today. On one hand, you are ready to break free of your regular routine and try something completely different. On the other hand, you have work to do that prevents you from taking off and doing whatever feels good. Instead of attempting to resolve this conflict, you can do both. Meet your responsibilities to the best of your ability, but set some time aside to explore your wild side too.

Figures eh?

Well I'm gonna go get dressed.
Gettin my hair did today.
cant wait.

I hope someone is working today... ;)

♥ Eoin Thomas Sharkey

pile of gold

this weekend could go either way i've decided.

It'll either be a complete mistake. and way too exhausting...

or it could be a-fucking-mazing.

Lets hope for the best right?

I'm in a crunch for halloween shopping. fuckkkkk.

got hella good ideas too.
but they need to be PERFECT or they wont really work. :P

god damn perfectionism...

time to quit stalling a get dressed...

The End Parenthesis starts here.

coke and facial hair.

I must say. i had the weirdest dreams last night.

which was nice.
i haven't dreamed in quite a while.

i woke up in the middle of the night, after my first dream. and wrote down key points of my dream. here they are:

Coke. Hair. Nick. YTN Cabaret. Boats. Torri and coke in hotel with mom and nonny.

It was a crazy weird dream.
I was like doing coke with my cousin? and my mom was there asleep?
and then i got like crazy facial hair that i couldnt get rid of because of doing so much coke.
And then i dont remember how nick was in it.... or the ytn cabaret.
but me and my cousin were driving around boats. and there was like one last line and he blew it away in a straw. i found it hilarious.

But then i had another dream, where i was in this show. I was with people from high school. but i can't really remember who...

We were in this tour group in california i think. because we were driving around a bus.
we made a stop at UCLA, and it suddenly became disneyland... which was weird. but it was still a school.
Then we began performing in this show? it was based on brother bear? or some bear-based disney story...
and i was the main character. and i kept having to start it over. we would do the beginning. where i would be doing front hand springs into the space. and then begin the big opening number. I dont remember it now. but it was pretty epic.

But then we had to keep starting over and over. for some reason. it like kept restarting. and i would just fall from the sky and start doing hand springs again. Then our bus started to leave. and we all hopped on. We were off to USC. which, for some reason, was right next to UCLA. and looked very much like a highschool.

It was all very interesting to say the least.

And then i woke up and realized i had slept half the day. whoo! go mee.

Well i'm off to have coffee with my father. :/ should be fun.

You are the one.


Resign and go home

well its another thrilling night of being under 21...

well.... it was a good night out.

I actually hung out with people from the salon.
and for those who dont know. i'm working at Seven salon in seattle as a barista.

It was nice to feel like i'm "one of the gang"

it was one of my better friends' birthday this weekend. so we all went out for dinner in west seattle.

we went to this mexican restaurant called MISSION. it was actually delicious! :P
which was nice. i didnt feel too out of place, which was nice.

i feel like its been pretty hard to open up lately... :/ but i feel like i'm getting better.
I dont think i've ever been bad at making friends... but i guess i'm just worried :( i'm putting to much pressure on myself to find friends that its driving me crazy.

ughhhh so i'm just so frustrated about not being 21...

but i really dont want to just get a fake id.. plus i really dont know how. but i just done want to become like everyone else that just goes out every weekend and gets wasted. because i feel like they have forgotten about how much fun you can have when you're just sober!

its so dumb...
so after dinner. everyone is going out to drink. :/ lammmme. but they were going to go to this place where i was supposed to be able to get inn... ya... whatever. i'm like sure. i'll try. hope for the best...
ya. of course. didnt happen. carded right away. :P

so lame....

and of course i then just left them to go out and have fun. it was nice. tho.

So.... i totaled my car last week :(
so thats no fun. i killed the engine.
i believe there was a leak of oil... because i had filled it recently... but still dumb....

so now i am carless. for ever.
my parents arent fixing it for me. :( which i wouldnt want to expect them to... but i just dont really know how to live without a car.. which is dumb... but true... i've had one for 3 years... and its just been my habit...

i'm thinking of moving back to the city.. :/ but i really like not paying rent. and really saving hella money right now :/ butttttttttt. it would be so much better to live in seattle :/ i feel like it might actually be good for me to put my shit together and move everything. and clean and whatnot.

i dunnnnnoo what to do.
i feeel like im not doing anything.

i decided not to buy a new car. because i really dont want to spend two years paying of car payments when i dont even know if i'll be needing it in a few months... i really just want to move.
but i like where i'm working right now. and know itll save me money...
but i'm just not passionate about it at all..

i need to start looking into schools and conservatories and whatnot...

i'm just so unmotivated..



im not sleeping again.
so obnoxious.

i either sleep all day. or not at all.
good huh.

Who's War is it, Anyway?


mmmmm vicodin...

Well getting your wisdom teeth out is certainly a blast... let me tell you!

Sitting at home for the fifth day of just wanting to kill someone.
hydrocodone doesnt do anything... and oxycodone makes me crazy OCD.

and did i mention my parents are driving me insane?
minus the fact that my mom just got me a smoothie :P

they are just doing a HORRIBLE job at taking care of me!
they keep forgetting to give me meds. and then i'll KNOW i'll need to take it cause i'm like dying of pain already. I'm not really supposed to be walking around, and yet they keep waiting like an hour to ask if my ice pack is warm. and of course then i'll go get it, and everything will swell and hurt more.

Plus the fact that my mom will ask me retarded questions, minus the fact that when i reply she cant hear me because i cant fucking open my mouth! so then she gets really frustrated, and then i just dont want to talk to her.
and i ask her why the FUCK she is getting so aggravated when i tell her i dont want to repeat myself.

so i was supposed to work tomorrow. but i'm definitely way too swollen still. which is irritating, because now i wont have as good of a pay check :/ but i got a pretty good one last week which is nice to feel like i'm actually making a dent in my savings... :P though i haven't actually put any of it away..... whatever... :D

but it was funny, because i e-mailed my boss the other day saying i dont think i'll be able to work because i'm still pretty swollen and in a lot of pain. and she replied today saying "we'd still love to have you here, even if you look like a chipmunk!" uhhh ya right? like i'm coming into work swollen. HELL NO.

though i do look hecka cute fat. i'll give her that. :)

no. not going in.
end of story.

argghhh. i wish that there wasnt so much noise in my house.
My parents dont do ANYTHING, and yet they are always making the most irritating noises.
And my mom constantly exclaims how irritated that she is with what shes doing with a big sighhhhhh. which is sooo lovely. NOT.

Gunnar came over to keep me company last night. which was nice for sure. :)
We watched Sex in the City the movie. and then proceeded to play MONOPOLY.
which is always good when you're high off perk.
i totally won.
and of course the game went on till like 2am... and then i promptly woke up at 5am dying of pain...

wellll i'm going to go and enjoy my smoothie, and probably watch some pushing daisies.

Happy friday :)

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